I'm tired of being a grown up.

I'm tired. Tired of being a grown up and having to be all sensible. I'm tired of responsibilities and always worrying about others. I'm fed up with being stressed about life as it is at the moment. Right now I just want to throw the mother of all paddies - and then have someone give me the hugest hug and tell me that everything will be ok.

I've had enough of the insecurities. I hate not knowing where my hubby will be working next year. I hate not knowing when his job will move. I cannot cope with not knowing. I'm a planner. I need to know things so I can start making lists and look ahead.

I worry about my husband taking on a ridiculous commute to get to work. I worry about him having to stay away every week to work. I worry about having to be on my own with the children 24/7. I want a healthy family life. I want us to live near to our workplaces but I am scared about moving my daughter out of her comfort zone at school. I fear for how she would cope.

I want to return to work next year. I need to know where we will be next year. I am clearly very insecure and worry all too easily.

BUT I have to be strong. I have to STOP getting down for the sake of these two....

They are my world and all I want is what is best for them. And I have to be a grown up.