Last night I had a bit of an emotional turn.
I sat watching Homeland and suddenly panicked.
You see, Homeland is kind of plodding along at the moment. No Brody - yet - and too much Dana.
Dana, oh Dana, you hormonal, mixed up little thing you. 16 years old and rolling around in the laundry room having rumpy pumpy with your equally mixed up beau. 16. SIXTEEN!?!
My little girl is nearly half way to that age. In just over eight years time, or maybe earlier, I'm going to lose her to hormones, emotions, boys - or possibly girls, I'm cool with that. But she'll be 'gone'. She won't need me anymore - well she'll probably need my money and stuff.
More to the point she won't WANT me anymore will she? She'll be all moody and I'll be too embarrassing or something.
Basically I'm panicking.
I'm looking back too much and thinking we should have done more each day, each weekend, each holiday.
Yesterday we had a house day due to the rain and a stinking cold on my part. We didn't do much. We should have done more. I should be making more of my time with them.
Time goes too quick.
I'm rambling. I apologise.
I'm tired, and to be honest maybe a bit hormonal myself today, so am probably blowing this up way out of proportion but I have moments where I just freak out.
How do we stop the panic?
How do we savour the moments?
How do we keep them young?
How can I bottle them and not let them go?
x x x
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