So, I have successfully completed my first week at work. I am no longer a SAHM and the house is still standing, the children aren't psychologically damaged and the world hasn't stopped turning. AND, I haven't felt guilty about my decision.
I have just been sitting here quietly, whilst Alban chills in the front room with a DVD - wasn't he doing that in a past post?! Bad parent! - thinking about this past week. I had panics about returning to work. I had panics about changing Alban's preschool setting this late in the academic year. I had panics about abandoning Edith to Breakfast Club. The usual things to get my knickers in a twist about. I know it's only been a week but already I have found some pros and cons to going back to work. Here they are:
The Good
I feel like a person again, not just a mother and a housekeeper. I have valued the time so much as a SAHM but I needed a change.
I can put my past training to good use. I am a trained primary school teacher and am now working as a TA so I feel I am actually contributing my skills and knowledge again.
I love being a TA. I knew I would love it and it feels great being back in a primary school but with the weight of teaching stress removed from my shoulders.
The Bad
Alban is shattered. He crashed out for two hours on Tuesday afternoon but I know he will soon get used to the earlier starts and new routine. We are only getting up 40 minutes earlier and I have shifted his bedtime - the lazy toad.
People tootling along at 40mph along the derestricted roads. GET OUT OF MY WAY, I AM TRYING TO GET TO WORK ON TIME. I hate being late.
Stressing out about the drop off at preschool / drop off at Breakfast Club / drive to school. The nursery car park is a complete pig and is far too small for the morning rush so we get there 10 minutes early and wait in the car. Sad I know. But, I hate being late.
Stressing out about parking at work. The car park is very tight and the spaces are all angled back on themselves so you have to do some snifty manoeuvres to reverse in in order to get out again. Things like this make me worry. I seriously need to calm down a bit.
The upcoming realisation that I will be working more hours throughout the week and taking home less money than I did teaching for 2 days a week.
The Ugly
Mmmmmmmm. Errrrrrrrr. Erm. Nope. I can't think of anything.
Oh, here's one - when Edith and Alban are feeling under the weather and I'll have to make the decision to send them to school or have to take a day off work. That's when I'll start to feel guilty either way.
How have you felt if you are back at work after being a SAHM?
SAHMs - do you want to go back to work?
Working mums - do you regret your decisions?
I would love to hear your comments.
x x x
I'm currently working 2.5 days a week after I went back from maternity leave with my son (he was 9 months at the time). I'm not enjoying it that much, and I'd rather be at home most of the time, but I do like some parts of it - mainly the fact that I have such lovely colleagues who keep me smiling :) I don't regret going back to work, if nothing else it has shown me that I don't want to do it right now. If I hadn't have gone back, I'd always be thinking what would it have been like? But I'm not planning on working too much longer, at which point I'll be a SAHM for a few years, til the kids are at school. Then I can imagine I'll be in a similar situation to you are now - wanting a change and feeling like working again.
ReplyDeleteGood work, lots of pluses and minuses for both sides I think! I left my job when I was pregnant with Honey as I hated it anyway and have never found my niche career (!) and am now due number 2 again anyway so am more than happy as a SAHM, but if I had a job i loved and a long hard earned career I know itd be a different story.
ReplyDeletexxxxx
http://honeysmummy.blogspot.co.uk
I'm not back at work yet so I can't offer any advice. Just wanted to say that I hope you have enjoyed your first week!
ReplyDeleteI work part time 4 mornings a week and feel I've got a good balance. I love my job and like the time it gives me to feel like 'me' not just 'mummy'. But I value my time at home with the children even more and am more chilled out and patient! It suits me for now but I might do a few more hours in a few years when both children are at school.
ReplyDeleteGlad you've had a good first week! X
So glad your week went well. You'll soon get to grips with the little issues like the car park and then you'll be flying. I went back 3 days a week after E was born but had to go back full time after T which is a shame as I felt much less guilty part time.
ReplyDeleteLuckily both boys love their nursery so it's not too bad but you're right, the killer is when you have to make that are they/aren't they well enough to go in choice and you know that if you weren't working you'd have kept them home. That's made me cry on more than one occasion.
I was so glad to get back to work. I got into a real rut being off. I have a 2.5 day contract, teaching, which is ideal for me. Although I am working full time for the next 8 weeks which will be tough but I will be glad of the extra cash. I cannot imagine ever not working. even if it wasn't teaching I would have to find something to do. I do love the house and find lots to do there but I need to work.
ReplyDeleteI have pretty much always worked part time since dd1 was 6mths old. I wasn't sure I would go back to work after dd2 - in fact thought I probably wouldn't as was just a job for money not career and I was quite bored by it but after 6mths at home with 2 kids I decided I was not cut out to be a SAHM and needed to go back to work. Good job I did as OH was then made redundant and was unemployed for 2 years! Even though he is main earner my money still helped. Then 6 mths after he got a job I was made redundant and I only returned to work at Easter (after about 6mths unemployed ). I have quite enjoyed being a SAHM this time ( I have had my blog to keep me sane this time!) and I have mixed views of going back but the harsh reality is that we need the money. I have been lucky to find a job that is 3 days a week and during school hours so although I am not earning much we are not spending much on childcare. I will have to pay out during schooll hols but on the whole I am lucky as I can still drop my kids at school and nursery and pick thhem up and it has given me some pride and independance again. I cannot stand having to ask OH for money or feeling guilty if I buy a pair of shoes do I need to have my own income.
ReplyDeleteGlad it went well for you x
Great post, and you're certainly not alone with your experiences. I work silly hours, but they mean I get the afternoons with my 22 month old. I worked from home until she was 18 months, now work 5am - 12/1pm and from home evenings and weekends. The Working Mum Guilt is always there, but then I think of the money I'm putting into our savings and the fact I'm also doing a job I love and still get quality time with my little girl and I feel less bad. Except when she's ill. Then I feel bad again.
ReplyDeleteI found my old 12 hours a day job too much which is why we sold up and bought Coombe Mill. Now I still work 12 hours a day but for me and from home which works well for me as I can choose my hours mostly around the children. Thanks for sharing your views, funnily enough I have just written something myself in draft, will let you know when I publish it. Sounds like you have found a balance which works for you and that makes it the right decision.
ReplyDeleteI have had to return to work full-time. It wasn't a problem after my first child but I'm finding it hard now I have two children. I work long hours, made even longer by a commute I'm not overly keen on. I worked out that I'm spending longer at work than I am at home with my children and that definitely makes me sad. Glad you're enjoying your TA job though x
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