I have just recovered from the panic to find someone to fetch Alban and bring him home. I initially planned to drive up and get him as 2 hours ago Edith was feeling fine, then she suddenly went downhill and is now crashed out on the sofa. This is where more guilt kicks in.
If I am stuck with the children I have to call on other Mums. I feel bad for always asking for help. One Mum had Alban for the morning last week so I could go to my job interview. She is also bringing Alban home today. She herself doesn't have family around and I am also going to ask her to have Alban again next week so I can get into school before I start after Easter - I had planned to go tomorrow but am now on pox nursing duty. Obviously.
That Mum is currently my
I get frustrated not having any family around to call on. Most of my Mum friends do. Some of them seem to have half of Melksham as their family network / support group. Jealous? Sort of.
It is tough not having family around to help out. Moving here obviously we had none but before we left it wasn't any different so....
ReplyDeleteI am usually the helper outer working from home etc and I never mind be asked and always happy to help. But know what you mean when you ask for help you feel like it a real burden but it is not and you will be able to return the favour at some stage I am sure. xxx
Thanks x I have done plenty for others too but took a while to feel comfortble asking for help. I'm too stubborn somethimes!
Deletemy mum's in another country, my kids other grandma is in another county. I have four, although now one is 18 and one is 16, others 11 & 12. Here's the rub oldest and youngest have aspergers and adhd. No help from anyone, anywhere, any time. Guilt, resentment more guilt. Just hang in there you are only one person and can only do what you can do.
ReplyDeleteThank you. When the resentment creeps in I have to take a deep breath otherwise I turn too bitter. Not nice!
DeleteI totally understand. My family are not involved with my life and I defiantly wish I had more support from them. I sometimes feel like I'm always asking other mums for help but then I am always happy to help out to. I think thats what community is all about, and its good to develop a community for yourself. Oh and chocolate as a thanks always goes down well.
ReplyDeleteMy parents are in Norfolk and in laws in France. My parents are too old to help anyway! Definitely building my own little mum community though. You have to in order to survive! Thanks x
DeleteI totally get this. My mum and mother-in-law are 600 miles away. We have no family to help us and we hate asking other families for help, especially at the weekends. After all, everyone is busy and has their own stresses/woes - they don't need ours as well. This is one of the many reasons that we've decided to move 'home'. We just can't cope without a support network anymore. Ease up on the guilt though, I'm sure a time will come when you can return the favour.
ReplyDeleteI am doing some free work with a great little company for just this reason they are called the doubtfire agency and they want to get old people in the community to be able to help us out when we have these issues. I cant wait for them to get some in my area.
ReplyDeleteThere site is http://doubtfire.co.uk/ or you could follow @grannydoubtfire who is the voice of the agency.
Sorry not trying to sell you something but I am really passionate about what they are doing for just the reasons you mentioned in your post.
I think they started following me the other day but I didn't click on their link to see what they are about! What a fab idea!
DeleteThanks. Good luck with the move. You are so right with the thinking that everyone else has their own stresses snd not wanting to add to it. But that's a good reason to help each other out. I've helped out friends who have a big family locally as well so it works all ways!
ReplyDeleteI feel your pain. Since my mum died I have no one, no support system and have had to rely on the kindness of fellow mums at the school when similar has happened. I make sure that I always off to help them in return, but it is shit when you are basically on your own
ReplyDeleteI know. That's all - I know.
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear about the pox, and you missing Alban's Easter Service... It's a nightmare not having any family about isn't it! I know there are people I could rely on here to help me in an emergency though, and they know that I would do the same to help them... Us Mum's must stick together! (:
ReplyDeleteNo family around me either so totally understand where you're coming from. Why do we feel guilty asking friends for help though when I know if a friend asked me for help I'd be only too happy to oblige. It's so tough. Hope your gorgeous girl is feeling a lot better now.
ReplyDelete