I have been a full time SAHM from May 2008 to January 2010 then August 2010 to the present day.....and counting. I chose to be a SAHM so maybe I do not have the choice to moan about it. I love being a SAHM, for my children. My youngest is currently in preschool two and a half days a week. This gives me time to volunteer at my daughter's school (I am a trained primary school teacher and am wanting to keep in touch with it), time to keep on top of the washing, drying and ironing that seems to accumulate into a mountain on a daily basis and crucially time for me to switch off and relax. When I write it all down it looks pretty cushy for me really. However, I am frustrated.
I am frustrated that the children are always
my number one priority, not the husband's.
I am frustrated that if the husband's workmates suggest a drink after work he can go without a moments thought for what may be going on here at home.
I am frustrated when the husband may have a late start - a rare occurrence - and he gets to lie in but I
have to get the children sorted.
I am frustrated that I am losing touch with issues in schools from a teacher point of view and fear that will make it a challenge to find work next year.
Yes, next year, well next September when Alban starts Reception, I want to return to work and teaching, possibly full time. But then the problems and my frustrations will change...
I will be working but still, in all likelihood, will be the one that has to sort out the children.
I have no family nearby so I will have to get them to Breakfast Club, pick them up from After School Club and drive them to ballet, Rainbows and the like.
I will worry about how on earth I manage the higgledy piggledy hours that Reception children do for the first weeks / couple of months. Seriously, how do people work round that when their child is in for a half day here and half day there??
So why don't I continue being a SAHM? We have scraped by financially to enable me to do it and it is nice for the children to have me take them to school and preschool, be able to help in school, be there at the end of the day, cook their meals every night and take them to clubs but.... I will be
more frustrated five days a week 9 to 3 at home on my own. I want to go back to teaching. Helping in school has made me realise this. I also want my own car and element of freedom again. I want to buy nice clothes. I want the opportunity to move house as we are bursting out of this one. All material things I know but sometimes a balance has to be struck. I think that is the issue - balance. Balance
will have to be struck between me and the husband when I return to work. I know mums that have to do it on their own but I need support. So, for now, I will continue to have days where I scream and rant and feel trapped but this not forever. I don't want to wish my children's lives away and I am
SO glad to have stayed home through these early years. But, as a family we are going to have to adapt to changes, and work as a team to do it.
My ranting and moaning for now is over - thanks for listening x x
* that is not me - I am not blonde but I am very screamy!