Class

This week the Great British class calculator has been doing the rounds with people either gloating, being despondent or genuinely surprised at its results. I obviously had to have a go, and I may have secretly started to compare myself to other results I saw floating about online. One interesting thing I discovered was that people I knew were spanning the whole seven groups from Elitist to Precariat. Make what you like from that.

If you're interested I came out slap bang in the middle as a New Affluent Worker which apparently makes me 'young, from a working class background and a home owner'. Well, one of those is definitely right; I'm a houseowner. I don't know what the criteria for 'young' is but I feel I may have shifted out of that one by now. And as for the class? I remember my sociology A-level tutor making the statement that I was middle class due to my dad being an accountant. A sweeping generalisation maybe and I don't how true that really was. I was however raised comfortably, my dad worked hard and funded my university education, a fact my husband has always used to have a dig at me, we went to National Trust properties, we were season ticket holders at Norwich City Football Club, we had holidays on the North Norfolk coast - never going abroad as my dad would say "There's far too many lovely places to see in our country". All in all a balanced upbringing not wanting for much.

Housework & Brownie Points

I came across this blog post on Pinterest and pinned it to my Inspiring/Words board to hopefully give me some inspiration to cheer myself up around the house. Let's see.

10 Simple Things to Make You Happier At Home

www.apartmenttherapy.com

Point 7 made me chuckle.

'Do small favors for your housemates, expecting nothing in return (not even a thank you!). (That's right, I said it: nothing!) Mow the lawn for your husband, but don't expect him to pat you on the back. Make the bed for your wife, but don't try to get bonus points for it.'

The lengths I have to go to for a night out with the husband

With much excitement I found four of these awaiting me on the breakfast table this morning.

 

 

To get my mitts on them was no mean feat.

Firstly I had to leave my husband with clear instructions for the tickets I wanted whilst I drove to Norfolk to see my dad for the last time.

After the continuous re-clicking and refreshing on numerous ticket sites he struck gold. Kind of. We have nose bleed seats of the highest extremes. But.....WE HAVE TICKETS!

Ah. We have tickets. What we didn't have is a babysitter. No Grandmas or Grandads up the road. No one to ask to have the children for the weekend - maybe I'm too polite and should ask people?

My mum lives in Norfolk and is unable to stay with our kiddies on her own overnight.

The in laws - as you may know - have abandoned us and now live in the Limousin area of France. My geography of France is rubbish but all you need to know is it is bloody miles away in the middle of nowhere with flights out running about once every six months. Okay, that might be a slight exaggeration but at this time of year the flights aren't regular.

Anyway, we asked, and Grandma France is flying over next Wednesday so we - as in me and the husband - can actually have a night out.

The lengths I have to go to for a night out with the husband.

Can you beat that for extreme babysitting?!

I'm just praying there are no major disasters between now and then.

Whatever happens I AM GOING!!

x x x

Weight loss and workout frustrations

You may be aware by now that I have been on a bit of a kick to work out, cut the calories and lose some weight. Well I have been working out, I have been cutting the calories and I have lost some weight. Now BAM! I have hit THE WALL.

I dropped 6lbs over the first three weeks by dropping to 1200 calories a day - tough at first but now it's my norm - and by doing a daily session of the 30 Day Shred. I saw results as blogged about here.

Now? I AM FED UP.

I am fed up with working my arse off every evening and looking a right state like this...

(clearly another great mug shot worthy of a place in Spike and Heels' #OperationHideous gallery)

...only to stand on the scales in the morning and constantly see 11st 1lb staring back at me. I also beat myself up further by standing on the scales at the end of the day when I am heavier. Why??!!!!

Some lovely Twitter folk gave me a lesson in basic fat to muscle weight changes, inch loss and metabolism but still I AM FED UP!

How does Weight Watchers work?! Do the participants not exercise? If I was part of such a weight loss programme surely I would be laughed out of every weekly weigh in and deemed a failure?

Someone said just IGNORE THE SCALES. But, I admit it, I am obsessed with them. I want to see results. In numbers in front of my eyes, not just on a tape measure.

I know I need to celebrate the successes of losing 6lbs and inches from the waist and hips but what if that suddenly stops? THEN WHAT?!!?

Somebody tell me it will be worth it. Somebody tell me I WILL see a 10st something appear on my scales.

Please.

x x x

Household happiness - top ten tips for the husband.

It has been almost two weeks since the husband has been on gardening leave and I must say the garden looks great. The house, however, is a different issue. This is where he needs some guidance. So, as suggested by the husband himself, I am writing him a list.

1. Washing up: fairy liquid + washing up sponge + hot water + dirty dishes + hands in sink = washing up. Basic maths really.
2. Dishes and pans etc not only need to be washed up they also need to be dried and moved from the draining board back to the cupboard.
3. When the laundry bag is overflowing it generally means it is time to put a wash on.
4. When the washing machine has finished it will stop sounding like an aeroplane is taking off in the kitchen. This is a useful sign to inform you that the washing needs to moved from said machine onto either the washing line or airer, depending on the weather.
5. The dry washing does not fold, iron or put itself away. Someone needs to do this at some point so we can wear those clothes again.
6. If you walk into a room and trip over a pile of general crap this is a sign that some picking up needs to done.
7. The floors will get dusty and messy, particularly if you continue to walk through the house in your outdoor shoes. There is a great invention under the stairs called a vacuum cleaner, or, for a little area of mess, there is a brush and dustpan. The vacuum has a plug and will require an electrical socket. The brush and dustpan requires you to get down on your knees and do a bit of manual labour. Think of the calories you will be burning off.
8. The bathroom needs a damn good going over every week. For this you will need to open the cupboard on the wall to locate the cleaning products. These work by squeezing the trigger and aiming at the sink, bath, shower and taps. Squirting cleaner into the toilet and leaving it will not do the job. The brush in the pot on the floor is not a piece of modern art, it is in fact for scrubbing crap - quite literally - from the toilet pan.
9. A packed lunch for the children should not need any explaining.
10. To stop me getting 'angry' with you my top tip would be to not disappear to the pub garden when I have been to work, picked up A, done the school run, broken up the squabbles, sorted tea, bathed the children and put them to bed.

Maybe I'm being unreasonable. I don't know. What I do know is I am finding it hard balancing work and everything else. Actually, no, that's wrong. I can easily go to work then come home and sort out the house and children. I would just appreciate some help.

 

 

x x x

The Voice Within

Ah, a meme. A meme designed to get into our heads and expose our daily mutterings. The Voice Within asks us to reveal ten things that we say to ourselves / out loud during the day. Adventures of a Middle-aged Matron kindly tagged me in this one so after a bit of thinking about it here is what I splurt on a daily basis.

Oh For Goodness/Gods/F@#k Sake - delete according to mood and who is in earshot. This is probably my top muttering and I have just said it one minute ago whilst trying to highlight some text on here. FYI I said the last choice. *gasp*

Where the hell is it? Book bag, drink bottle, potato peeler...whatever I need at that very moment and it isn't there.

Hang on a minute Usually to the children when they need me to do something. Sometimes, for variety, it is "Hang on a sec"!

Come on Most of time directed to Alban who is one of life's dawdlers. He always needs a minutes head start on everyone else. I forget to give him a minutes head start so am repeatedly getting at the poor chap with that one.

Mummy just needs to finish this 'work' Yes, that's right, mummy 'works' on her computer at home sometimes. (I think we all know what I mean by work don't we?! Shhhh, don't tell my children what I'm really up to.)

Find it yourself Mummy where's my coat? Where's my rabbit? Where's my Octonaut toy? Where are my marbles? Ha!

If you want something done do it yourself One for the husband! Usually after asking for the umpteenth time for a household job to be done. You know what I'm on about.

How many times have I said....? Moan, moan, moan.

Am I the only person who knows how to wash up around here? It seems I am. No one else seems to understand how the taps, washing up sponge and Fairy Liquid combo work. Clearly there is a magic fairy who swishes the dirty plates back into the cupboard.

The laundry bag is right there Yes, right there. Look. Next to your pile of clothes you have just removed from yourself.

Jeez, I have just realised that I am a seriously grumpy cow. I need to find some more positive things to say myself!

I'm going to tag Bod for Tea, Life, As I Know It & Motherventing to see what words of wisdom they spout.

And as for you, dear reader, tell me, what is your most common daily muttering?
x x x