Household happiness - top ten tips for the husband.

It has been almost two weeks since the husband has been on gardening leave and I must say the garden looks great. The house, however, is a different issue. This is where he needs some guidance. So, as suggested by the husband himself, I am writing him a list.

1. Washing up: fairy liquid + washing up sponge + hot water + dirty dishes + hands in sink = washing up. Basic maths really.
2. Dishes and pans etc not only need to be washed up they also need to be dried and moved from the draining board back to the cupboard.
3. When the laundry bag is overflowing it generally means it is time to put a wash on.
4. When the washing machine has finished it will stop sounding like an aeroplane is taking off in the kitchen. This is a useful sign to inform you that the washing needs to moved from said machine onto either the washing line or airer, depending on the weather.
5. The dry washing does not fold, iron or put itself away. Someone needs to do this at some point so we can wear those clothes again.
6. If you walk into a room and trip over a pile of general crap this is a sign that some picking up needs to done.
7. The floors will get dusty and messy, particularly if you continue to walk through the house in your outdoor shoes. There is a great invention under the stairs called a vacuum cleaner, or, for a little area of mess, there is a brush and dustpan. The vacuum has a plug and will require an electrical socket. The brush and dustpan requires you to get down on your knees and do a bit of manual labour. Think of the calories you will be burning off.
8. The bathroom needs a damn good going over every week. For this you will need to open the cupboard on the wall to locate the cleaning products. These work by squeezing the trigger and aiming at the sink, bath, shower and taps. Squirting cleaner into the toilet and leaving it will not do the job. The brush in the pot on the floor is not a piece of modern art, it is in fact for scrubbing crap - quite literally - from the toilet pan.
9. A packed lunch for the children should not need any explaining.
10. To stop me getting 'angry' with you my top tip would be to not disappear to the pub garden when I have been to work, picked up A, done the school run, broken up the squabbles, sorted tea, bathed the children and put them to bed.

Maybe I'm being unreasonable. I don't know. What I do know is I am finding it hard balancing work and everything else. Actually, no, that's wrong. I can easily go to work then come home and sort out the house and children. I would just appreciate some help.

 

 

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