Musing on a Monday {Gratitude}

Last week, following an intense yoga session stuffed full of strong warriors, inversions and even an attempt at a headstand, my lovely yoga teacher had us sit in a circle, post savasana and pre om, for some time to contemplate.
And the focus was gratitude.

In turn we each stated one thing we were grateful for - just one thing.
Following that evening's class I started to think a little more about gratitude and discovered it is a word, a feeling, an emotion even, that has increased in my life. The more I pondered the more I started to put this change in focus down to both my yoga and my age as, since turning 40, I feel my thoughts, outlooks and feelings have shifted quite dramatically.
I have been known to be quite a frustrated person, and can still be. There are times I want more; a bigger house, more money, a proper holiday. But there are times, increasingly, I stop and think about the world we currently live in; an ever changing world, not always for the better. A world full of war and conflict, refugees and homelessness, a visible increase in downright racist and xenophobic views in the media, online and on the streets that we walk everyday, feelings of bitterness and resentment towards other human beings, a rising element of fear. All in all a bit of a scary world into which my children are growing and forming their own opinions. I have never felt so concerned in my role as a parent, as a mother, to raise my children with good intentions; to be caring towards others, to not judge, to love and to be grateful. I therefore need to stop with my negativity and openly demonstrate my gratitude.
I need to stop with my negativity about the size of my house - I need to show gratitude to the fact that I have a home that keeps us safe and keeps us warm.
I need to stop with my negativity about money in general - we have an income that pays the mortgage, feeds us, clothes us, runs two cars and takes us on little breaks to Cornwall.
I need to stop with the negativity.
Full stop.
I need to show gratitude on a daily basis be it a quiet thought, a spoken word out loud, a discussion with my children.
We need to show gratitude.
Everyday.
Today I am grateful for having two strong legs that carried me round the neighbouring villages on a 5 mile run past sweeping fields and glorious views.

I paused to take in everything around me.
I paused to show gratitude.
Because...

x x x

Finding Happiness on the Road to 40 {Musing on a Monday}

I sat here this morning, in my quiet house alone, feeling a bit lost with the children back at school. So I did the only thing that I knew would clear my head, and feel like I have returned to the back to school normality, and went for a run. I blew the cobwebs off my runners - not worn for 4 weeks - laced them up and headed out for a gentle 5k to ease me back into it. Following the Norwich 10k I decided to rest from running, transferred my September half marathon place and spent the time, not worrying about training and fitness, but making summer memories with my family. And it was a good one. 

Now, as my thoughts turn to the reality that we are well and truly in September, comes the realisation that my 40th is just around the corner - it's so close I can see it smiling at me. But I am ready for it. This time last year I was more than just a little freaked out about turning 39 but I turned that worry into something positive. Come the new year I made a list; a fun stress free list of 40 things to do before 40. It was a list of ideas; things that were achievable and things that if I didn't do them it wouldn't be the end of the world.

Here's how I did.

1.   Run in a 10 k race - Yes, three of them; Longleat, Broughton Gifford and Norwich
2.   Run 10 miles - Yes, in order to...
3.   Complete a half marathon - Yes, two of them; Bath and Hackney
4.   Run a total of 400+ miles - Yes
5.   Save £100 in my running jar (£1 a run) - Yes, but spent some of it on...
6.   Get a meaningful tattoo - Yes
7.   Have a girl's night out - Yes
8.   Have a husband and wife night out - Kind of - a day and early evening in Bath!
9.   Go and see some live music - Yes, my favourite band, James.
10. Go to the cinema with the children - Yes, to see Snoopy & Charlie Brown
11. Go to the cinema without the children - Nearly went to see David Brent but decided to go to the pub instead!
12. Watch the sunrise - Sadly, no.
13. Watch the sunset - Yes
14. Visit the family in Norfolk - Yes
15. Eat fish and chips on the beach at Wells-next-the-sea - We ate fish and chips in Norfolk and went to Wells but didn't combine the two!
16. Run in Norfolk - Yes, Norwich 10k
17. Go on a long walk by myself - No, but lots of long runs by myself
18. Go on a big walk from Lulworth Cove - Have yet to get back down to the cove
19. Buy a lottery ticket - No, I may have been a millionaire by now!
20. Write a letter to America - No
21. Write a letter to New Zealand - Yes
22. Take the children to London - Yes, so I could run Hackney 10k!
23. Introduce the children to the Indiana Jones films - Have yet to do this
24. Lose 7 lbs - Yes, and it seems to be staying off
25. Meet up with an old friend - Yes, two of them!
26. Learn to cartwheel again - Yes, I persevered with this and faced my fears with help from my girl
27. Eat out as a family - Yes, fish and chips al fresco!
28. Go camping - Yes, at our favourite site
29. Read my subscription magazines cover to cover - Sort of, I dip into them now that I have sorted them out
30. Read more books - Lately, yes.
31. Practise more yoga - A big fat YES! Including taking myself solo to a yoga festival!
32. Use my DSLR properly - Sort of! I started to follow an online course then got distracted but I am remembering more when I do grab it
33. Get the children together with their English cousins - Sadly not yet but they are due to visit this October
34. Take a train ride somewhere - Yes, into Bath
35. Teach myself to knit again - The wool is still in its bag
36. Visit a new town/city - Not yet
37. Visit a new National Trust property - No, we haven't been to many of our favourites this year - I fear the children have moved on!
38. Go fruit picking - No but we'll be hitting the hedgerows soon for blackberries and sloes
39. Walk along a pier - No
40. Ride the dodgems - No

So about 65% successful with some added bonuses.

This time last year if someone had said I would be taking myself off alone to a yoga festival I would have laughed at them but this year I have changed my focus and outlook quite a bit. Life is out there for living and finding new adventures and facing up to being 40 has finally made me realise that. Don't get me wrong I have no plans to be off skydiving and base jumping every weekend but my eyes are wider open to life's possibilities. If I see something I like the look of I will now think, 'Yes I can do that.' Rather than, 'I like the look of that but it will be a little scary to do it.' I'm now turning this way of thinking towards some new life goals; to learn something new, to try something new, to do something that makes me happier in my work. This sits with my new outlook on priorities and what is important. I am more accepting and thankful for this precious life and have come to discover that happiness lies in many things and it isn't necessarily going to be found in a bulging bank balance and big house. 

It's been the little things this year that have made me happy; time with my precious little family, a rare day out alone with the husband, camping out in the lounge watching movies with the children, doing yoga in my quiet space at the back of the house, pitching a tent solo with success in the wind and rain, talking to strangers and finding new things about myself, spending days on end in a field with my family under the sun covered in glitter, getting fire in my belly, running through my home city and getting a little bit emotional, an evening out with a great friend, making plans for a chilled end to my 30s, making plans for my future, finally being happy and content in who I am.

x x x

40 things to do before 40 {10 mile run & a letter to New Zealand}

With only seven and a bit months until the big four zero hits me I have made a headlong start on my 40 things to do before 40 list. The DSLR has been out weekly and I have explored aperture and shutter speed but I don't feel I am quite ready to tick off no. 32 on the list.
However, I can tick off numbers 2 and 21 - Run 10 miles and Write a letter to New Zealand - with a double whammy achieved on Tuesday this week.
Go me!

Embrace happy and Race for Life

Back in March I was lucky enough to briefly meet and listen to the inspiring words of Karin from Embrace Happy. As a result I take part in the daily #3goodthings focus on Instagram and I am pleased to report it is having a positive effect on my outlook, attitude and general well being. Alongside the #3goodthings, I have blown the dust off my running shoes and have consistently been lacing those bad boys up for regular running and training. With some fantastic online support from Run Mummy Run, I'm on a mission to run a Race for Life 10k in less than three weeks; some days I get worried about this as I haven't reached that distance yet and I have a constant fear of injury again. But, with my Embrace Happy hat on, I attempt to stay as positive as I can.
Today, with the heat wave sweeping in, I set my alarm early and was out the door at 0623 in order to beat the warmth - it was still stinking hot but I'm glad I am sitting here in the garden typing this now and not running in the current heat at 1030. On my way round my 6k route I got a bit negative with myself, panicking about the aforementioned Race for Life, so I started to chant in my head;

You are fit, you are healthy so keep your arse moving.

Not particularly poetic I know but it worked. I dug in and kept going thinking along the way about the reasons that I am training for Race for Life and just how freaking grateful I am that I can run and I can get up everyday and I can do this.
When my race pack came through I thought about what I could write on my bib, I RACE FOR LIFE FOR... How amazing that I don't have a list of names to put on there. There is one person close to me currently recovering from an operation that removed a cancer infected kidney. Now he awaits scans and ultimately chemotherapy to hopefully eradicate the lot.
So I race for him.
And all those that have lost their battles, all those currently fighting and all those survivors.

A huge thank you to the lovely people that have sponsored me on my Just Giving page here.

x x x

Embrace Happy {FOCUS}

I have recently jumped on board with the delightful Karin, and her mission, to Embrace Happy.
It's been just over a week since I started to look for the positives in each day through #3goodthings on Instagram.
This is working well but I also want to focus a little bit more on my own use of time to find happiness and fulfilment in myself.
I was inspired by a recent photo from Karin on Instagram.
I liked her starting point ideas but felt I needed to adapt them a little to suit me.
I took some time to just sit, be still, be quiet and think.

 

I wanted to hone in on just a few things that I could try to achieve through a week, things I could do and things I would want to do.

After some scribbling and crossings out I wrote up my FOCUS goal.

 

 

This is now washi taped to the fridge door as a reminder, not just to me but the rest of my little family, that I am doing this.

 

 

x x x