Finding Happiness on the Road to 40 {Musing on a Monday}

I sat here this morning, in my quiet house alone, feeling a bit lost with the children back at school. So I did the only thing that I knew would clear my head, and feel like I have returned to the back to school normality, and went for a run. I blew the cobwebs off my runners - not worn for 4 weeks - laced them up and headed out for a gentle 5k to ease me back into it. Following the Norwich 10k I decided to rest from running, transferred my September half marathon place and spent the time, not worrying about training and fitness, but making summer memories with my family. And it was a good one. 

Now, as my thoughts turn to the reality that we are well and truly in September, comes the realisation that my 40th is just around the corner - it's so close I can see it smiling at me. But I am ready for it. This time last year I was more than just a little freaked out about turning 39 but I turned that worry into something positive. Come the new year I made a list; a fun stress free list of 40 things to do before 40. It was a list of ideas; things that were achievable and things that if I didn't do them it wouldn't be the end of the world.

Here's how I did.

1.   Run in a 10 k race - Yes, three of them; Longleat, Broughton Gifford and Norwich
2.   Run 10 miles - Yes, in order to...
3.   Complete a half marathon - Yes, two of them; Bath and Hackney
4.   Run a total of 400+ miles - Yes
5.   Save £100 in my running jar (£1 a run) - Yes, but spent some of it on...
6.   Get a meaningful tattoo - Yes
7.   Have a girl's night out - Yes
8.   Have a husband and wife night out - Kind of - a day and early evening in Bath!
9.   Go and see some live music - Yes, my favourite band, James.
10. Go to the cinema with the children - Yes, to see Snoopy & Charlie Brown
11. Go to the cinema without the children - Nearly went to see David Brent but decided to go to the pub instead!
12. Watch the sunrise - Sadly, no.
13. Watch the sunset - Yes
14. Visit the family in Norfolk - Yes
15. Eat fish and chips on the beach at Wells-next-the-sea - We ate fish and chips in Norfolk and went to Wells but didn't combine the two!
16. Run in Norfolk - Yes, Norwich 10k
17. Go on a long walk by myself - No, but lots of long runs by myself
18. Go on a big walk from Lulworth Cove - Have yet to get back down to the cove
19. Buy a lottery ticket - No, I may have been a millionaire by now!
20. Write a letter to America - No
21. Write a letter to New Zealand - Yes
22. Take the children to London - Yes, so I could run Hackney 10k!
23. Introduce the children to the Indiana Jones films - Have yet to do this
24. Lose 7 lbs - Yes, and it seems to be staying off
25. Meet up with an old friend - Yes, two of them!
26. Learn to cartwheel again - Yes, I persevered with this and faced my fears with help from my girl
27. Eat out as a family - Yes, fish and chips al fresco!
28. Go camping - Yes, at our favourite site
29. Read my subscription magazines cover to cover - Sort of, I dip into them now that I have sorted them out
30. Read more books - Lately, yes.
31. Practise more yoga - A big fat YES! Including taking myself solo to a yoga festival!
32. Use my DSLR properly - Sort of! I started to follow an online course then got distracted but I am remembering more when I do grab it
33. Get the children together with their English cousins - Sadly not yet but they are due to visit this October
34. Take a train ride somewhere - Yes, into Bath
35. Teach myself to knit again - The wool is still in its bag
36. Visit a new town/city - Not yet
37. Visit a new National Trust property - No, we haven't been to many of our favourites this year - I fear the children have moved on!
38. Go fruit picking - No but we'll be hitting the hedgerows soon for blackberries and sloes
39. Walk along a pier - No
40. Ride the dodgems - No

So about 65% successful with some added bonuses.

This time last year if someone had said I would be taking myself off alone to a yoga festival I would have laughed at them but this year I have changed my focus and outlook quite a bit. Life is out there for living and finding new adventures and facing up to being 40 has finally made me realise that. Don't get me wrong I have no plans to be off skydiving and base jumping every weekend but my eyes are wider open to life's possibilities. If I see something I like the look of I will now think, 'Yes I can do that.' Rather than, 'I like the look of that but it will be a little scary to do it.' I'm now turning this way of thinking towards some new life goals; to learn something new, to try something new, to do something that makes me happier in my work. This sits with my new outlook on priorities and what is important. I am more accepting and thankful for this precious life and have come to discover that happiness lies in many things and it isn't necessarily going to be found in a bulging bank balance and big house. 

It's been the little things this year that have made me happy; time with my precious little family, a rare day out alone with the husband, camping out in the lounge watching movies with the children, doing yoga in my quiet space at the back of the house, pitching a tent solo with success in the wind and rain, talking to strangers and finding new things about myself, spending days on end in a field with my family under the sun covered in glitter, getting fire in my belly, running through my home city and getting a little bit emotional, an evening out with a great friend, making plans for a chilled end to my 30s, making plans for my future, finally being happy and content in who I am.

x x x

Running Diary {Bath Half Marathon 2016}

Finally, after months of planning and training and a couple of weeks of dodging bugs and illness, the day of the Bath Half Marathon 2016 arrived.
And what a beautiful day it was.
Bath was blessed with clear blue skies and bright Spring sunshine which, having trained through countless cold, wet and windy days and not having planned for a shift in the British weather with Spring arriving overnight, threw my planned running outfit into complete mayhem.

Other worries ensued; fueling, toileting and hydration.
Fueling: The race started at 11. I usually run at 9. My solution? I had a pre-breakfast of two slices of toast with Marmite at 6am followed by my usual breakfast of muesli and soya milk at 8am. That still left three hours so the obligatory banana was consumed at 10am with a nervous chomp on my Nature Bar at 10.20am.
Toileting: I usually visit my bathroom, pee and shoot out the front door. Race day obviously throws that routine into disarray. As I had reentered my estimated finishing time a couple of weeks ago I had been moved up to the white starting pen which is known to be less hectic to get into thus leaving more time to hang around in the running village and visit the toilets. Which I did. Twice in succession. Just because.
Hydration: In training, in the cold, I had reached 12 miles consuming no extra water en route. Race day was significantly warmer and having hydrated well in the days running up to Sunday I was still a little panicked. I don't particularly enjoy taking on water whilst running but knew that the increase in temperatures meant I would probably have to.

After arriving at the Race Village with my family in tow at around 10am I visited my charity tent, the RUH Forever Friend's Appeal, to relax and have a runner's photograph taken with Ted himself. Then it was time for the aforementioned fueling, toileting and hydration and it was a quick goodbye to the family, with a double check of where they would be on the course, and it was off to the starting pen on the beautiful Great Pulteney Street.

Bumping into a work colleague on the way in helped to settle my nerves and the time flew before the starting horn went off. Within three minutes I was over the start line and the TomTom was set to track my run.

Mile 1
Heading out of Great Pulteney Street and down the gently sloping Pulteney Road was the perfect start with a great crowd setting us on our way. I knew my family were along this stretch so kept scanning the crowd and it was so lovely to finally spot them as I turned the bend. My boy had the Run Mummy Run banner clutched in his hands whilst I yelled, "Hello babies!" The husband 'encouraged' me on with his words, "Not long to go!"
Mile 2
Here was the first incline on the course, approaching Queens Square, made easier to take hearing the amazing steel drum band at the top. Then it was round the square, down a welcome stretch and onto the Upper Bristol Road.
Mile 3
A gradual incline took us to Newbridge Road which saw lots of families armed with bowls of Jelly Babies and 'Power Up Here' placards.
Mile 4
The crowds began to thin as we left the city behind us for the loop back over the river. A quick look at my watch told me I was running at an 8:35 minute mile pace - far quicker than I had trained and I knew I couldn't sustain that but was happy to kill off the miles quickly.
Mile 5
Back towards the city centre along the Lower Bristol Road. Here there were limited crowds so I was glad of the Battle of the Bands stationed at this point to give us a boost.
Mile 6
The amazing crowds were back again and at this point I was feeling fantastic! It was also along this stretch of the race I found myself awestruck as the elite racer, who went on to set a course record of 1:01:44, Robert Mbithi came flying past us all ready to head back to the finishing line.
Mile 7
Approaching the 10k marker I peeked at my watch, looked at the race timer and with some quick maths realised I had just done a 10k PB. Possibly not the best time to do it running your first half marathon so I thought maybe I should slow up a little now to conserve some energy for later. I was desperately scanning the crowd again for my family as they had planned to be along here somewhere and I mentally slumped a bit as I thought I had missed them. Then I heard my husband shout, "Run Mummy Run!" to send me on smiling again.
Mile 8
Back onto the second loop and the incline up to Queen Square was a damn sight tougher this time! As I ran down the exiting hill I had my first moment of doubt knowing I was heading out of the city again getting, geographically, further away from the finish line. Letting out some kind of gargling hurumph noise I caught the attention of a passing 118118 runner who asked if I was okay. The sight of them all, and the fact that someone thought to check on me, perked me up straight away and with a few high fives from the spectators I was on a high again.
Mile 9
It was getting really warm now but I was happy with my stride and glad that my mind had been, mostly, positive for this long. My TomTom was saying my pace had slowed up to 8:49 but I was still under the 9:05 minute mile pace I had set myself in order to try and finish at a sub 2 hour time. With that in mind I dug in knowing I was heading towards my least favourite stretch.
Mile 10
This loop back over the river again felt never-ending and even the smiley local radio girls and the Battle of the Band contestants couldn't make me grin. I now needed a drink and was so glad to hear a race marshal shouting, "Drinks station ahead." Approaching it my heart sank. It was Lucozade. Which is lovely but having never drunk it whilst running it didn't appeal so I held off recalling a water station further up from the first lap round.
Mile 11
I was now hitting the wall with huge doubts creeping into my mind. My knee was beginning to niggle and my pace had dropped to a 9:04 minute mile. My inner voice was talking to me; "This is it. I can't do it. I'm not doing the Hackney Half. Why on earth did I book another two halves having not even completed one? What will I do if my knee goes? I can't cry in front of all these people." Then I heard a lady shouting to everyone in a really calming voice; "You can do it. Come on!" I wished I had shouted back, "Yes I can, thank you!" I didn't quite have a renewed spring in my step but her words definitely shut up the voices in my head. I grabbed some water, as I had finally made it to the station, took a few sips and tipped a load over my hands and arms to cool me off.
Mile 12
I didn't enjoy this mile at all. That's all I need to say.
Mile 13
The crowds seemed to have doubled from this point on but they didn't make me go any faster. That lovely gently sloping Pulteney Road on the way out was now a drag of pure hell. My TomTom was telling me my pace had now slumped to 9:19 and I felt that I couldn't muster up any more energy to drive home. Then Greg James ran past me carrying me an inflatable boob on his back in support of the charity Coppafeel and that was the spur I needed. If he could do it carrying a blow up tit then so could I. I passed the 13 mile marker and turned the last corner back onto Great Pulteney Street. Seeing the gun time ticking past 1:59:00, and even though I knew I had a couple of minutes spare on my chip time, I thought to myself, 'Sod it, I want a sub two hour gun time.' I dug in and kicked strong and with one knee telling me I would regret it in the morning I crossed the line with my watch pace starting with a 7.
I then leant against a fence to try and stretch.
And promptly cried.

Gun time: 1:59:36
TomTom time: 1:56:50
Official chip time: 1:56:49

So that was my first half and another thing ticked off my 40 things to do before 40 list.
I loved it, I then liked it, I then hated it and finally I loved it again.

Roll on Hackney!

x x x

Running Diary {Longleat 10k}

The Longleat 10k had been looming on my half marathon training plan for a while and I was looking forward to it - although with some trepidation once word of the hills had spread online and was confirmed by a running friend in the real world. Due to this I started to look upon it as a training run, rather than any attempt to set any 10k PB, so I went along yesterday in quite a relaxed manner just looking forward to running in a crowd with the only target being conquering those hills.

I gave myself a good half an hour to get there, having checked the route online, and was hoping to meet my running friend at 8:15. However, the traffic entering the event was heaving and I was stuck for a mile in a slow moving line that resulted in me parking up at 8:55 with the race due to start at 9:00. I made a mad dash to the toilets, pulled on my running vest, called my friend to say I'd see her if I see her, wrestled my phone into its armband, yanked my buff over my ears - it was chilly out - and shot over to the start line where, thankfully, they held off the start for about ten minutes. I had planned on putting myself midway in the sub 10 minute mile and sub 9 minute mile start area but nobody really knew where these were so I moved down away from the front as I didn't want to hold up the fast runners. Then we were off.

40 things to do before 40 {10 mile run & a letter to New Zealand}

With only seven and a bit months until the big four zero hits me I have made a headlong start on my 40 things to do before 40 list. The DSLR has been out weekly and I have explored aperture and shutter speed but I don't feel I am quite ready to tick off no. 32 on the list.
However, I can tick off numbers 2 and 21 - Run 10 miles and Write a letter to New Zealand - with a double whammy achieved on Tuesday this week.
Go me!

40 things to do before 40

I woke up on January 1st panicking about two things; this year I am 40 and next year my baby girl starts Secondary School.
There is nothing I can do about either of them - although the girl keeps mentioning wanting to be home schooled but that it is not a realistic option.
I cannot hold back time but I can enjoy it. So, somewhat predictably, and maybe a bit late in the day seeing as there are only 248 days left until I hit the big four zero, I have created a 40 things to do before 40 list.
As tempting as it was to add Go to New England, Move house, Leave my job I have tried to keep it achievable and realistic!