Musing on a Monday {Be brave}

This popped up on my Facebook timeline today...



 

...and it got me thinking.

Which is always dangerous.

 

As I went through each statement questions and thoughts appeared in my mind.

Don't settle... for second best? How many of us settle for what we have? Should we strive for the better options? Is the grass greener? OR...Should we work at what do we have? Be thankful for what we do have? Appreciate and love what we do have?

Is that settling?

Say how you feel... Gosh, this makes me smile to myself. Opening up my feelings is way better than bottling them up but am I always heard? Intent on being a different mother than my own I positively voice my feelings to my children; most commonly telling them I love them morning, noon and night. Negative feelings come out too and I let the tears fall in front of them; yes, Mummy gets sad. My girl, more often than not, is the first one to pick up on what I need and her arms wrapped around me is one of the best feelings in the world.

Find your passion... Such an emotive word. My family are my passion. My children are my passion. But, away from family, my passion that drives me has been recently found via the local pavements and a pair of Nikes. Running has become my personal drive and passion; a time to escape, challenge myself, clear my mind, be fulfilled.

Be true to yourself... Am I completely honest with myself about how I feel? Do I follow what I believe rather than what I am told to believe? The older I get the more I am becoming more comfortable with who I am and am less concerned about what others think.

Leave the job you hate... Hate is such a powerful word and such a powerful feeling. Imagine being in a job you truly hate. My job doesn't make me massively happy at the moment, although I do have good days. Doing what I do I simply can't be outwardly miserable - but it does build up inwardly. Elements of my job I do hate, elements of my job I love - but for now it can't be left.

Stand up for things that matter... Being quite an introverted type I've always stood back from voicing my opinions for fear of being shot down, or being wrong. But can an opinion be wrong? If it matters to me than surely it can be right? But how to stand up for things that matter? What can I say or do and to whom? A letter to my MP, a petition signed, a view put across at work. It's something, yes? 

Don't apologise for who you are... How many times do I apologise when putting my point across? How many times do I start my argument - "I'm sorry but..."? This is who I am and this is how I'm feeling and these are words I want to say. Stop apologising woman!

Love with every ounce of your bones... This I don't need to question.

 

Am I brave?

I think it can be worked on.

 

x x x



Happy me ~ introvert

One of my lovely friends, and her three children, has just left the house after endless cups of tea, lunch and a long needed catch up. We always have a good talk, a bit of a moan and try to put the world to rights. We sing from the same hymn sheet and agree on a lot. Friends like that are priceless.
This is my friend who I escape from the real world with; she is my gig partner, festival partner and weekends away to catch live music partner.
She is outwardly confident with a big circle of friends.

I, however, have a small circle of friends. In fact I would say a handful. I've always been like that. It takes me a while to forge a good friendship and I don't get close to too many people. I am happier in a small group, building up my confidence and building up my trust. That's where my comfort zone is.

The school run can sometimes feel a bit traumatic seeing throngs of mums happily chatting in huge groups - I want to break into those groups as maybe in there somewhere is someone I could really connect with. But that huge group to me is daunting. In these situations I may be seen as brusque but actually, get to know me and you'll find that I'm not.

Big social events don't appeal as all I see are walls of people; people I don't know, people I have to hold a coherent conversation with. I need to know that someone is there waiting for me, a seat has been saved, that I have a go-to person I feel comforatable with.

So, am I shy? Do I have a problem with confidence?

For one thing my job doesn't allow me to be shy. Put me in front of a room full of 4 year olds and parents and I am quietly confident.
And happy.

Through this blog, and other forms of social media, I have been fortunate to meet some lovely folk. I have on paper met 'strangers'. I have met up for coffee with some, shared gin cocktails with others and spent a weekend in London. I don't see these folk regularly but have made positive online connections with them. They have supported me in numerous ways when real life friends haven't been available. That connection seems to be the key. And the confidence to meet up with them has never been an issue.



Some people may see that as odd - why make friends with strangers? Why can't you find more real life friends?
Answer? See above.

After a big chunk of my adult life feeling like this I have finally given myself a label.

I do believe I am an introvert.
And I am happy with that.

Think you understand what an introvert is?
We're not necessarily the ones standing quietly in a corner fiddling with our phones avoiding eye contact.
Introversion, in fact, remains a frequently misunderstood personality trait.
This article here has been a real eye opener...

 

I match most, but not all, 23 points.

Most notably...

 

You don't feel high from your surroundings...

 

Well, put me in a field of complete strangers and drop The Killers on a stage and I'll definitely feel high from those surroundings.

 

But, if you see me sat at the end of a seat on a train don't try and make small talk with me.

I'm not being rude.

I'm just an introvert.

And I'm happy.

Happy me.

 

Does any of this sound familiar to you? What personality traits do you have?

 

x x x