Mummy, do I look pretty? {Parenting Girls}

Earlier today I was sat in my conservatory listening to the chatter and giggles of my 9 year old daughter, her friend and my boy as they played 'schools' upstairs.
I love these moments and it proves to me that they are still very much children throwing themselves into the world of imaginary play with no worries or concerns interrupting them.
However, I want to go back a few days to when my daughter came skipping into my room in a summer dress, hair tied up in a side pony with a questioning look on her face and she asks,

"Mummy, do I look pretty?"

 

Part of me wanted to respond with this; 

 

"Why does it matter? You're 9, you shouldn't have to worry about how 'pretty' you look, that word shouldn't be in your vocabulary. Why aren't you pulling on grey joggers and beat up trainers and throwing yourself around on the floor playing goalkeeper like I did at your age? Who do you think you need to be 'pretty' for? What crap have you watched on the television that makes you think you have to look 'pretty'? Now stop being so silly."

 

But I didn't.

I simply replied;

 

"Of course you do. But being pretty isn't everything in life."

 

And off she went.
 

Did I screw up there?

Should I have sat her down and explained her future role in life as a strong independent female who shouldn't feel the need to be led by society's expectation of her to look preened and 'pretty'?

Am I a hypocrite and sending out the wrong message whilst I put my make up on every day but can't actually explain to her that I do this as I lack in self confidence to go out bare faced?
Have I actually 'learnt' from my own mum who would have laughed off such a question and made me feel tiny for daring to ask?
Should I have wrapped her up in my arms and told her she is the prettiest girl to have ever walked the earth, because that is what I always wanted my mum to do and say to me?

I feel caught.
Caught between the realisation that she is feeling exactly how I felt - albeit much later in life for me at the age of 12 onwards - and the pull of my desire to tell her to stick two fingers up to the norms and 'expectations' and pressures in life.

So, which way do I go?
Where is the balance?!
What would you have responded with?

x x x

Just me and my girl - the beach

There are no beaches in Wiltshire. Which pains me. A lot. And now that the in laws have decided in their *ahem* wisdom to move to France we no longer have Cornwall as a weekend getaway destination. So, we have to make the most of our trips to Norfolk.

It is a bit of a trek to get here and this time it has just been myself and Edith. A girls only road trip if you like. She has been a star and has been desperate to get to the beach - like mother like daughter - so today we went to get our coastal fix. We dodged the showers, flouted the rules of the beach, overdosed on sea air, had a look at the quirky coastal dwellings and picnicked in the car.

It was one of those making memories days - just me and my girl.

x x x

What's happened to E?

My Edith, my girl, my beautiful daughter. I dedicated a Gallery post to her back in November last year and I am still so, so, proud of her.

She is still stubborn.
She is still beautiful.
She is still shy.

My love for her is never going to weaken but lately I've noticed a change in her.
She seems to have real anger inside her that explodes in a huge shouting episode. It is clearly all my fault.

"I hate you."
"Why are you always so cross with me. Everyday you are."
"I want Daddy."

She is five.

Sometimes it is like she is 15 running on hormones. I am absolutely dreading that time to come.
I didn't have the closest relationship with my mum always feeling I was second best to my siblings, the closest in age to me being my elder brother who was a Mummy's boy.
I have always been worried about this repeating with my own children.

Alban is a Mummy's boy. Edith is becoming Daddy's girl.
I am worried.
I feel like I am treading on eggshells with her.

With Alban it is clear cut. I'm not saying he is an angel by any means but I always feel confident with my expectations of him. With Edith I always fear a problem will arise.
An example: last night she was asked to move her flip flips from the lounge and put them away. Simple. But this resulted in her disobeying my request which escalated into her stockpile of phrases, "I hate you" "Why are you always cross with me......" You know the rest.
Yes, I know she gets tired. Yes, I know she misses her Daddy when he's away overnight - this is regularly 'used' as a tool, "I want Daddy" on replay to wind me up. Yes, I know I'm not the most patient of people and probably rise to her a lot quicker than other mums might. Yes, I know I shouldn't shout as I am acting more like a child as well!

I'm just hoping it's a phase.

She will have to get used to Daddy being away on a weekly basis and hopefully once that is part of the routine she will settle more.
I also hope it's the start of chickenpox. I know that sounds mean but Alban has just had it and I need an excuse for this behaviour.
So for now any advice from you would be gratefully received.

I'm linking this up to Mum Of One's #ISpy meme.
Obvious what it is really.
I'm desperately trying to spy my old Edith.