Musing on a Monday {Be brave}

This popped up on my Facebook timeline today...



 

...and it got me thinking.

Which is always dangerous.

 

As I went through each statement questions and thoughts appeared in my mind.

Don't settle... for second best? How many of us settle for what we have? Should we strive for the better options? Is the grass greener? OR...Should we work at what do we have? Be thankful for what we do have? Appreciate and love what we do have?

Is that settling?

Say how you feel... Gosh, this makes me smile to myself. Opening up my feelings is way better than bottling them up but am I always heard? Intent on being a different mother than my own I positively voice my feelings to my children; most commonly telling them I love them morning, noon and night. Negative feelings come out too and I let the tears fall in front of them; yes, Mummy gets sad. My girl, more often than not, is the first one to pick up on what I need and her arms wrapped around me is one of the best feelings in the world.

Find your passion... Such an emotive word. My family are my passion. My children are my passion. But, away from family, my passion that drives me has been recently found via the local pavements and a pair of Nikes. Running has become my personal drive and passion; a time to escape, challenge myself, clear my mind, be fulfilled.

Be true to yourself... Am I completely honest with myself about how I feel? Do I follow what I believe rather than what I am told to believe? The older I get the more I am becoming more comfortable with who I am and am less concerned about what others think.

Leave the job you hate... Hate is such a powerful word and such a powerful feeling. Imagine being in a job you truly hate. My job doesn't make me massively happy at the moment, although I do have good days. Doing what I do I simply can't be outwardly miserable - but it does build up inwardly. Elements of my job I do hate, elements of my job I love - but for now it can't be left.

Stand up for things that matter... Being quite an introverted type I've always stood back from voicing my opinions for fear of being shot down, or being wrong. But can an opinion be wrong? If it matters to me than surely it can be right? But how to stand up for things that matter? What can I say or do and to whom? A letter to my MP, a petition signed, a view put across at work. It's something, yes? 

Don't apologise for who you are... How many times do I apologise when putting my point across? How many times do I start my argument - "I'm sorry but..."? This is who I am and this is how I'm feeling and these are words I want to say. Stop apologising woman!

Love with every ounce of your bones... This I don't need to question.

 

Am I brave?

I think it can be worked on.

 

x x x



Project 365 2015 #48

Last week of November and thoughts are just starting to turn towards to Christmas.
Week 48 of Project 365 2015 has been more positive than last week with some crisp weather to brighten the soggy days.

Day 326
A beautiful cold sunny day for rugby training. The blue sky almost lasted all morning.
Day 327
My favourite cold and crisp morning for the walk to school - a great start to the week.
Day 328
A positive 5 mile run today which felt good in terms of physical fitness and no knee pain.
Day 329
Back to work blues again today. On my return the children and husband had picked out a beach huts gift; "To cheer you up mummy."
Day 330
Early to bed with an easy reading Katie Fforde book tonight.
Day 331
Almost missed taking a picture today - this is at the bottom of my stairs and I pass it countless times every day. Certainly wise words - Live Inspired.
Day 332
I was due to run Parkrun today but my running buddy had other plans so to make life easier at home for everyone I shot out of the door at 0730 for a 5k training run. It was a lovely time to be out just as the sun had come up.

x x x



Musing on a Monday {I hear the ticking of a clock}

I sit in a quiet house and despite its physical absence I hear the ticking of a clock.
I walk past a frosty field seeing the shift of time from Autumn to Winter.

I stand in my girl's room and remember a heavily pregnant me sitting, pausing and wondering how much my life was about to change .
I watch my boy sleeping in the exact same position he did as a baby and am transported back to cots and babygros.
I spot my girl cosy in the armchair; headphones plugged in, laptop on and recall her sat on my lap; nursery rhymes playing and picture books being read.
I watch them both leave me at the school gate and remember how they used to need me to walk them in to their classrooms.
I listen as my girl confidently explains subordinate clauses and remember her Jolly Phonics home learning drawing pictures beginning with 's'.
I listen to my boy's teachers tell me how he confidently speaks to the whole of the class and recall a boy who would clam up every time it was his turn for show and tell.

I see my girl brushing her own hair and tying it up ready for school not needing any of my assistance.
I inwardly cry as my boy shakes my arm off as we walk off the rugby pitches.
I see them growing up day by day and ache for time to stand still.

I catch a glance in the mirror and notice the tell tale signs that I am into my fortieth year on this planet.
I panic that time is passing by way too quickly.
I struggle with the 6a.m. work alarms knowing that my priorities shift from family to work.
I catch my breath at the thought of having to apply for secondary school places next year.
I inwardly cringe at the times I used to moan at being a SAHM but would now return to that life in an instant.

I want to take the batteries out of the ticking clock.

x x x 

Project 365 2015 #47

Week 47 of Project 365 2015 and it's been a wet and chilly one. Not a great week for photo taking but I'm completing this project again!

Day 319
A chilly day for rugby today and my girl wasn't too impressed with the on field action choosing instead to sit with her tablet.
Day 320
A soggy walk to school and the end of the lane had its usual puddles.
Day 321
The girl loved her latest piece of home learning - it definitely beats lists of random spellings.
Day 322
A lovely friend messaged me last week saying she had a spare TV and would I like it - so we have finally replaced our 19" chunky box!
Day 323
Grandma left me a book today. I liked the look of the cover, yes I judge a book that way, but once snuggled in bed I discovered it was a collection of short stories. Must give it a go though.
Day 324
Tonight I booked tickets to see one my favourite bands, James, play next year!
Day 325
I missed Parkrun again this week in order to take the boy swimming - I have been promised that the husband will do the swimming run next week - so I had to force myself out this afternoon to get the training miles in. It was cold but glad I did it!

x x x

Project 365 2015 #46

Week 46 of Project 365 for 2015 and I almost faltered with work and general life prioritising over snapping pictures.

Day 312
Another Sunday, another rugby day. I was on kitchen duty and needed some fresh air so we went to a local park after lunch where all the leaves are now turning brown.
Day 313
A package from New Zealand today for my rugby mad boy.
Day 314
I managed a 5 mile slower pace run today. I was so relaxed about it I actually paused for a bit outside my favourite cosy cottages.
Day 315
Work Wednesday and evening cuddles on the sofa with my girl before bed.
Day 316
Early to bed with my Mindfulness book - I think I managed one page before falling asleep.
Day 317
Very happy to see Friday evening this week. I dragged myself out for a quick 5k donning the hi viz - I am not keen at all on the dark training runs but they need to be done.
Day 318
No Parkrun today but seeing the boy show progress at swimming was worth it. Back home after the weekend shop and I made my own muesli before snuggling down with paracetamol and water in an attempt to kill off a sore throat, head and ears. Why am I never ill on a work day?!

x x x

Project 365 2015 #45

Back to school and work this week so everyone is tired again.
Week 45 of Project 365 for 2015 saw lots of fog and rain; not the best weather to keep us all jolly.

Day 305
A foggy Sunday morning meant the most beautiful cobwebs were on show strung across between the wheelie bins.
Day 306
The kiddos were still home and we had a lazy day but went out for a wander to the local DIY store for blackboard spray paint for a work project. The railway line soon disappeared into the fog.
Day 307
Time to take my new Nike runners out for a spin today and I took a whole two minutes off my 5k PB - I was so happy!
Day 308
Back to work blues hit today but the husband had a hearty beef stew on the table on my return.
Day 309
So tired today so off to bed early with my latest book - a £1 bargain from the second-hand book room at Avebury Manor House.
Day 310
Still tired and no other photos snapped today as it has been so busy. Ploughing through the book with some more bedtime reading.
Day 311
The post today made me realise things are getting serious with the running; my sponsorship forms arrived from the Bath RUH for the Bath Half marathon. That was the motivation I needed to head out into the wind and rain for a comfortable 4 mile run.

x x x